When I was in middle school, I dreamed of becoming an actress. I felt that I loved to perform, whether it be through dance, singing, playing the cello, or on the stage. I enjoyed making others happy. I took all kinds of classes and lessons and got myself involved in a variety of clubs. Through an honor society, I found myself volunteering for a blood drive. Looking around me at all of the phlebotomists and donors, I felt the joy in the room. "They look so cool and professional." "Look how difficult their job is, but they're doing it with a smile." "These people are making others happy."
When I was in high school, I dreamed of working in healthcare. I felt that I could become an expert in my field and directly make my patients happy. I took CNA classes, shadowed EMTs, and put all my efforts into learning about biology and medicine. Through an alumna from my high school, I had the opportunity to shadow a lab tech in a local hospital's lab. In hindsight, that lab was cramped and primitive, but I was amazed nonetheless. "These people know so much." "They get to make patients happy all without the 'customer service' normally involved in healthcare." For the first time in my entire career search, I felt that this was where I belonged; I could really see myself working in the lab as a career.
Throughout college, I did everything I could to take steps toward working in a lab. Taking the advice of the lab tech I shadowed, I got certified in phlebotomy, where I learned my passion for not interacting with patients. Instead of working as a phlebotomist while I got my bachelor's degree, I took a job in an environmental microbiology/molecular research lab at my college. I paid careful attention to my classes to ensure they matched the prerequisites for my local MLS program. I shadowed the MLSs at that hospital. Following their advice for becoming a good candidate for the program, I got a job as a lab tech where my phlebotomy certificate finally came into use. Everything I did, I did to reach my dream job. I felt determined to make it into that MLS program and finally achieve my lifelong goal.
Seeing my acceptance letter, I felt confident. Only 11 months of schooling stood between me and my dream. I made friends. I lost classmates. I had fun. I got stressed. I passed my exams, and next my finals, and all of a sudden, I was sitting in front of the computer in my tiny cubicle, taking in one last breath before I finalized my board. The page turned white and I stared back, thinking of every answer I gave. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath, hoping that once I creaked an eyelid open I would know my future. My heart urged me to peek at the screen and when I did, a white screen was still facing me. I chuckled a little at how long it was taking to load, but in the next couple of seconds, it was as if a blast of fresh air shot out from the screen and left me staring in shock. A wave of relief washed over me and I could feel 9 years' worth of anticipation and stress leave my body, blowing away with the wind.
I raised my hand to leave, handed over my materials, and smiled curtly to the staff as I grabbed my items and left the testing center. Only once I started walking away from the building did I realize that my smile wouldn't wipe off my face. I glanced around to see if anyone was watching and began skipping back to the car. Sitting down in my car, my smile grew and suddenly, I couldn't stop laughing. All of my work, from realizing what makes me happy to passing the board, has culminated in this moment. I had felt prepared to take the board and confident in my abilities to pass, but seeing my long-awaited desire appearing before my eyes, I truly could not believe it was over. Dozens of classes, multiple shadows, a bachelor's degree, 2 stepping-stone jobs, numerous day-long study sessions, 2 certifications, and now, I am honestly at a loss.
It dawns on me that I am done now. Like putting a dying pet to rest, my struggles to get into the working world are over. I will not be going to class the next day. I will not be cramming last minute. I will not be seeing my classmates and teachers every day. I feel sad. It's as if these past 9 years I have been chipping away at rocks, little by little to find the diamond I have always dreamed of, and now that I have it, I miss the chase. I can feel the page slowly being turned to the next chapter in my life and it's a little scary to imagine what could be coming next.
Counting down the days until I begin my first day working as an MLS, I feel a lot of different emotions. I feel sad that my schooling is largely over, but I feel excited to finally realize my dream. I feel scared to stand on my own feet, but I feel prepared and confident in my efforts to set myself up for success. I look forward to all of the memories I will make in the future. I feel like I belong in this field and most importantly, I feel that I can use everything that has brought me here to make others happy.
I share my story not to seek validation or urge you to take the same path as me but to start the conversation on your own path and how you got here. There were thousands of different feelings that swayed me from one road to another, but I can gladly say that I am happy with where I am going. Coming out from the board isn't just a happy or sad feeling, and while it's easy to tell someone else you are happy or sad with the outcome, there are a lot of emotions below the surface. My one request is that you look at your own life and the way you got there. How does that make YOU feel? And what are you going to do about it?